
I purchased Diamond a couple months ago, long after its 2007 release date. I consumed it with excitement, albeit slowly. Four of my housemates also picked up copies of Pokémon Pearl and Platinum. We soon began late night trades of captured pokemon and requests for Evee evolutions. Yet even after the hours of good ol' fashioned bonding time, I've come to this conclusion: Pokémon is the most terribly designed game that I still enjoy playing.
Pokémon Diamond has a respectable rating of eighty-five on Metacritic, with plenty of glowing reviews. My own experiences with the game would demand an alien scoring system that could translate my hatred and enjoyment into a series of runic matrices or non-euclidean constructs. I have voiced my antagonistic ramblings to my housemates with mixed results.
Game flaws populate Pokémon as if its "Gotta Catch 'Em All" slogan were referring to poor design choices. Allow me to rant for a moment. The game, for all its depth, is incredibly uninformative. For a large portion of the game, a world map is not easily accessible as an application on the bottom screen. The map that is available, both on screen and in your bag, is largely devoid of helpful information. "Is that the route that is blanketed in fog? Do I need cut to access a honey tree there?" You might as well guess.

This uncertainty is exacerbated by incredibly slow gameplay. The incessant short but useless animations are maddening. Every little thing, crushing rocks, telling you an attack is "super effective," and reminding you its raining, requires numerous seconds of game time. Fighting a weak pokemon , a repeated occurrence when not showering yourself with repel potions, can take far too long considering how easy it is to defeat them in one blow. The result is too few opportunities for meaningful input.
Additionally, the joy of combat is quickly eroded as strategy becomes attacking your enemy's obvious weakness. Strong moves do not balance well and it is easy to rely mostly on your startingcreature. This "Big Hitter Syndrome" becomes increasingly important as eggs and pokemon with out-of-combat abilities take up precious space in your party.

Pokémon shares this affliction. To put it bluntly, Pokémon's gameplay is incredibly boring, but the artificial rewards are enough to keep me playing. The games success can be partly attributed to its ability to satisfy a human (or cultural) desire to consume and collect. Blow considers this to be unethical because designers are intentionally exploiting "these psychological phenomena" to sell fundamentally flawed game designs. Its clear the Pokémon have not markedly improve since its inception, its ability to satisfy a strange desire has always been close to perfect.
Can a game that sells millions and is widely praised, yet full of glaring flaws and frustrating design choices, still be considered a good game when its success relies on artificial rewards? Has Pokémon become a sort of virus, propagating a false desire to "Catch 'Em All?" Why is this anomaly, this awful yet entertaining game, so unsettling? Maybe I should smash the cartridge in protest... right after I snag myself a Raichu.